I first became ill back in spring 2014 and between then and the beginning of December that year when I had emergency surgery to enable me to eat and drink again, I had lost a lot of weight, strength and friends but my ability to keep fighting was strong and seemingly unbreakable. Looking back now, I can see how ill I was but only because my parents have told me stories from that time and from their perspective because when I was going through that tough time, I wasn’t looking at how bad my situation was because I was too busy fighting!
Almost 5 years later and my diagnosis list had grown and my time spent in bed has increased, I’m on more tablets and find day to day life much harder yet most of the time, I can eat and drink okay and I can walk short distances which back then I was not physically able to do. I am technically healthier now yet every day is much harder than it was before. Can you relate? Have you lost your fighting spirit?
I think we need to look at why that is and what we can do to get it back!
So firstly, why do we lose our fight?
When I was in school, I struggled to do as much as others in my class when it came to physical activity but if I had to choose between short distance running or long distance I would always choose the sprints – 100m using all my strength, energy and power for a few seconds rather than using 3/4 of my energy for an even longer period of time. Simply put, my endurance is rubbish! It always has been and I don’t like pushing myself physically or starting a task that I know is going to take a long time (but maybe that’s due to impatience more than anything else!) I do think that this has a large part to play in my struggle with continuing to fight. At the start, I knew I was ill but I was so ill that I couldn’t do anything else. Without a goal, there is no expectation and no endurance required – all you have to do is simply keep going. Now I work and have expectations placed on me, I have goals to meet, one after the other, and therefore, endurance is required to meet them time and time again. Fighting non stop is hard so no wonder I’m losing my fighting spirit.
So now we know why but what can we do about it?
- Be real and relational with God – within the Psalms we see the Psalmist crying out to God and telling him about the pain they’re going through but then continuing to maintain conversation with Him which leads to an answer from God and peace within the person who cries out because they kept up the conversation even after getting angry or upset about their circumstances
- Rest and rely on God – when going into battle David said ‘No king successes with a big army alone… horsepower is not the answer; no one gets by on muscle alone’ (Psalm 33:16-17 MSG).
- Remember the growth within – suffering is horrible, particularly when you wake up in pain over and over again without any sign of improvement. But suffering produces growth and maturity and can even plant seeds of faith in others who see what we go through and how we manage. All we need to do is to turn to God in our periods of suffering and listen and respond as we are instructed.
There is a reason, a purpose, a goal. All we need to do is rely on God, trust Him and His plans and rest in Him when it becomes too much knowing that He is always there for us.