Tag: recognition

Jesus’ power is from God

Jesus’ power is from God

Luke 11:14-23

There are some situations in which Jesus heals people from physical ailments by casting out demons inside them. Not all physical conditions were or are, caused by demons or other spiritual matters, but this one was. The man was mute as the demon inside him was mute, and in Matthew, we are told he is blind too. That must have been scary for this man and those around him.

In the last week, a broken tooth that I have been waiting to be taken out, has become very painful as an infection has started to build up in there – gross, I know! It doesn’t compare to being made bling and mute by a demon, but it is majorly distracting and nothing seemed to be making it better, so I prayed and asked God to take the pain away until I can get it seen to and get the pain managed with medications and antibiotics to stop the infection spreading. You might be wondering what this has to do with Jesus casting out a demon, but I promise I am getting there!

I have been chronically ill for more than 5 years. For the first few, I prayed that God take the conditions away, but He didn’t do that. Instead He brought me peace and contentment in my situation and gave me great doctors, friends and family members who have helped me in a variety of ways. Since then, I have prayed only for symptom control. For higher pain levels to be lowered, for energy to be increased and for my body to be able to get through a busy day, so when my tooth started hurting really badly, I prayed to God and asked Him to control the pain. I felt Him telling me to be patient, Then I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, my pain was 10 times better, and my regular medication controlled it well. I immediately thought of God and how He must have answered my prayer, but then I realised that if my tooth isn’t in pain, the root must be dead, otherwise it would still hurt.

In the events that unfolded in Luke 11:14-23, the people saw a man with a demon inside him making him mute, but then Jesus came along, and cast the demon out, and the man could speak again. Though they had seen this take place, they still thought Jesus must have used the power of Beelzebul as only he could command a demon out.

In my situation, I asked Jesus to remove the pain, and believed He could, yet when He did, I made up a reason for why it got better without involving Jesus in that. When Jesus came through, I didn’t think it possible. Why did I do that?

Somehow, I don’t think I am alone in this. Miracles don’t happen in spectacular ways in my world in the same way they did when Jesus was on earth (or at least I am not aware of them!), but they do still happen. We need to remember that, so when God does something for us like removing tooth pain, giving us more energy, or providing food when we need it but can’t afford it, we recognise it and thank Him for that.

Enough.

Enough.

Can you remember a moment in time or a particular event in which you loved yourself? Maybe it was when you were wearing something special or winning a sporting event at school? I can remember a couple of occasions like this and in those moments, no one could have said anything to make me feel bad about myself. I felt confident. I loved myself. 

We all struggle with self esteem at times but despite the never ending day in, day out bullying at school, my self esteem/self love has never been as low as it has been once I got ill. What I used to lack in friends, I made up for by spending time with family. What I lacked in money to buy the latest gadgets, I made up in creative, imaginary games. What I lacked in sporting ability I made up for in hard work in classes, even though I wasn’t the most academic either. 

Now I can’t make up anything. My body decides what it looks like, how hard it will work, physically and mentally, how much time I spend with friends and ultimately, what I achieve. I can’t balance out the things I don’t like about me with things I do so easily because I can’t do or be what I want. 

You might know that YouBelong was shortlisted as a finalist for the Premier Digital Awards. When I found out, I was in shock! For days I couldn’t process the information. ‘Why would anyone want to read what I’m writing, let alone recognise it with an award?’ Then I saw past winners and was blown away by how amazing there projects, websites, social media, apps and podcasts were and the shock quickly changed to imposter syndrome. I believed it because I read it, but I didn’t think I deserved it. 

I am writing this post because I know so many of us in the chronic illness/ disabled community have felt this way at least once in our life as a result of our situations. I am happy to have been seeing more posts about productivity not equalling worth going round as when we can’t work or keep a household, it’s easy to wonder what is the point? What’s our purpose?

We are taught to love our neighbour as ourself but how can we do that when we don’t love our selves. A lack of self esteem is the result of a lack of self love.  So what can we do? There are a few ways to look at this. For years I have just blocked out and tried to ignore what the people around me are doing so as I can’t be upset by comparing my lack of achievements and life goals with theirs but that can only work doe so long, especially when I use social media on a daily basis. 

Instead, I need to look at where I am getting my self esteem from. Rather than looking for it in a place I won’t find it or just blocking it out, I have decided to find it in other places – like the Bible. God tells us that He made us and that He loves us just as we are. Not just when we are running youth groups, leading services or saving lives but just the way we are. Maybe you are reading this from your bed on a bad flare up day and you can’t even get up to to get dressed or get yourself a drink. God loves you and still sees you as amazing. It’s nice to have compliments about the way we look or what we have done but it surely can’t get better than our creator telling us we are beautiful and great just as we are. ‘Doing’ nothing. 

Mary and Martha are a great example of this. One of them rushed about to get everything sorted and ready so as she could please Jesus and feel she’s done a good job. The other sat and just listened yet Jesus praised that behaviour. 

When we fix our eyes on Jesus, there is nothing we can do to make God love us less but there’s also nothing to make God love us more. Whether you are asleep all day or out on the streets feeding the poor, God loves you – you just need to work on loving you too.

Knowing that YouBelong is being recognised for something is something I can be proud of as it is not where my worth comes from, that is in who I am as a child of God. If I do this, I won’t become big headed or find myself in the midst of Imposter Syndrome again because my worth is not in what I have or have not done.

Is there some areas of your life you need to work on in terms of self worth? Perhaps your self worth is in your 9-5 job, your creativity, time doing deeds for others (never a bad thing but not where your self worth should come from) or the way you look? Write these down to remind yourself these are not the place to find your worth because if something happens to your job, your ability to create or your physical being, you will lose your worth. You are a child of God = loved and worthy.