Before you get confused thinking you have clicked on the wrong blog post somehow, let me promise you that this is not a craft blog but indeed a post about God as the master weaver.
Many of us who were once healthy and became unwell and never recovered will likely have had dreams and plans for our future. We might have studied for a career, saved money for a holiday, dated to find a future spouse etc., but when we got sick, these dreams may well have gone down the drain as they were no longer feasible options for us.
In 2015, I had recovered from a surgery to open my oesophagus which enabled me to eat again and I was ready to start studying theology, ministry and mission at degree level at university. When I left for my first term, I still had some weakness, pain and fatigue that had remained after my surgery but felt it would only be a matter of time before that went away. 2 years into the course, it hadn’t gone away. Instead, it got worse and I had to drop the practical elements of my degree and carefully plan my weeks to enable me to attend lectures and do my assignments whilst ensuring I got enough rest in too.
I was struggling and realised that although I might be able to get through the degree if I really pushed myself, the chances of me being able to practically use my degree at the end of it were slim, so what was the point of finishing?! I am a stubborn, or tenacious (a more positive version of the same word) person, so decided if I could, I would complete the course anyway. Around this time, I was introduced to the world of online forums and pages for people like me to chat about our illnesses and discuss the parts of our every day lives that our other friends and family couldn’t understand or relate to. I also found out about some online ministries and even, online churches and figured that although this wasn’t what I had intended to do when I left uni, it was a possible avenue to explore.
You might be familiar with the story of Joseph, the youngest son of Jacob, who was favoured by his Father. This made his older brothers jealous and they decided to sell him as a slave and told their Father he had died in order to get rid of him. Later on in Joseph’s life, after many more obstacles, he finds himself with power and comes face to face with his brothers again. When they finally find out who he is (a few years and cultures apart made him look very different to how they remembered him), they asked him for forgiveness as they feared for their well-being and Joseph said,
‘You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.‘
There are some things that happen in our lives that don’t turn out the way we want or hope them to, but sometimes the way we plan for things to happen isn’t the way that God has written the story. As much as we can have plans and dreams, our final story will be decided by God and more often than not, His way is so much better when we reflect on the options afterwards. He is the master weaver – reweaving the strands of our lives in ways we couldn’t have ever imagined and making it more beautiful than ever before!
Although I had hopes and plans to be a youth worker, that wasn’t in God’s plan. Instead, He is using me to bring together others like me online, to learn more about God, worship Him, tell others about Him and teach the Church that just because we might have a disability or chronic illness, we are not lesser than everyone else. We have lots to give, and God is using us too.
If it hadn’t have been for my chronic illness, and for completing my degree, YouBelong would not have existed, so although some days are hard, I am thankful for this opportunity and excited to see what happens in the next 12 months!
Can you think of a moment in your life that seemed to go wrong or turn out differently to how you planned or anticipated but that ultimately, was used for good? Share your stories with us at http://www.twitter.com/youbelong_2019 or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/youbelong2019